To Boldly " Go" Where Few Americans Have Gone Before

I feel a responsibility to inform and educate those of you that may not be fortunate to see customs in other countries. Therefore in todays lesson we will talk about "Waste Evacuation".
When I first arrived in India at our Hotel and went into the bathroom to "Comb My Hair" (This is an expression used by my brother Jack and I for many years to describe exactly what men do when they go into a crowded restroom with only 1 stall and it is occupied. Rather then just stand around and do nothing, men, seeing that there is no availability will wash their hands and comb their hair in an attempt to say to others waiting in the bathroom "I really just came in to do this" and then exit and return 5 minutes later hoping that the stall is now empty. )
Anyway I arrived in the hotel and upon visiting the washroom noticed something odd
and terrifiying. There was only one roll of tissue paper and it was very very small! Not
anything like what we are used to in the states especially at Costco. "Obviously they are
not aware of the famous Pastel constitution and its needs. This could be a big problem!

Then I saw it. In the corner of the room, what looked like a garden hose attachment connected to a silver hose. It could not be! Do they...?
I rang room service and asked for spare rolls and went upon with the days and weeks until...
There I was.... Not unlike any of us have been. In that situation. A strange house with an empty roll! What to do? No tissue available anywhere. No way out! The device taunted me. It was as if it had a voice of it's own. "Cmon, try it, it's ok. I hesitated, reviewed my options, hesitated again and then finally relented. The result...PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY, PRETTY, PRETTY GOOD!
As a matter of fact, I have to say, if I was building a house I would definitely include one. A great savings of paper, an excellent tool, and you never are the victim of the last few inches of a empty roll or in trouble with the thickness of a bargain brand.
One word of caution though. Don't try this at home. So excited was I about this new found device that I decided to demonstrate it on the web cam ( Fully clothed of course for my friend who I am sure would want to remain nameless) You need to be carefull if you decide to demo this because the trigger action is very touchy and you can end up as I did.. soaked from the pants down.