I feel sad, angry and resigned. Jake still alive gasping for air as his body continues to shut down ever so slowly. I cannot begin to understand so I don't even try. I feel good for the good times and sad for what will not be and the man I would have liked to see grow up become successful,start a family and continue to live life. It is hard to believe as I look at pictures of him that his life here is almost over. And yet he hangs on. If I talk to him his gasping increases as if he is trying to say that he just does not want to die. Try as we may we cannot convince him to let go. I only hope that this is over before my daughters birthday on January 14th. Considering Jake was diagnosed on my birthday, I hope this cruel joke does not continue on to my daughter. Apparently God does not give us more than we can handle but I think the correct phrase should be God does not give us more than we SHOULD handle. Key phrases I do not care to hear right now are God works in mysterious ways, Gods will, or everything happens for a reason. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming God, I simply feel he is rather uninvolved at this moment and I don't really care to learn the reasons why.
My friend Jamie put it best when he told me "This is a real Shit sandwich
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4 comments:
there are so many things wrong with what is going on with Jake. I want you to know that I know the kid (Jake)who made me a CD of music we could listen to together..that led me to listening more to my sons music and communicating with him through that...so now I'll just have to buy him a Starbucks, turn the music down and chat!!!! thanks for the great idea!!!love ya, Mitch
Your friend Jamie speaks the truth.
The people who claim God works in mysterious ways are generally the type of people who haven't experienced a tragedy of this magnitude.
Hang in there, Dan.
Love, Shannon
I can't even begin to understand the feelings you and Marci are going through right now. My heart aches for your family and especially Jake, who like you said, is not ready to die just yet. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and the family to just sit and wait for the inevitable. Jake is continually in my prayers that God will take him sooner rather than later, so he is no longer in pain, and that you family may find some sense of peace through this tragedy.
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