Friday January 9th 8:25 AM

I woke up a few moments ago and checked on Jake and he is still with us. His mom is sleeping on a recliner next to the hospital bed holding his hand. His breathing continues to be shallow as he continues to decline. I have a very hard time being in there now and find myself staying away and going on long walks with Eric "Fish" Fish, one of Jakes best friends. When Jake got sick he asked Eric to be by his side if things got bad and Eric has been here constantly for over a week, sitting in his room even sleeping on the floor. I have told many of his friends that I am going to have to adopt them. Both Marci and I have been very liked by all of Jakes friends as we have known them all since they were little and Marci always had food available when they came home from school while I always had some movie they needed to watch in our 3rd car garage that had been converted to a home theatre the "Dan Theatre" This all seems like a lifetime ago. The theatre gone along with the house. You do not realize how fast times go until they are gone or drastic things happen to change the course of your life. However, that being said, there is an entire life ahead of us and although each of us has been changed forever, our life is not over so we must make the best of it. I have decided that I will finally take a class on cinematography so that I can learn to make my own films. Perhaps I will take a class with Alex or Anne.
This blog cannot help but become a little depressing and negative at the moment. I am sorry for that. I have had so many comments from so many people about how much they appreciate knowing what is going on that I have felt a responsibility to make a post whenever I emotionally feel something. I believe that although this does bring people down it also helps the people that want and cannot be here and brings a further reality to the madness of cancer. It seems these days that the amount of people affected by cancer is on the rise and that too often the story ends the same way. All of us live in a shell away from these realities. I will always remember the day Jake went to the Rady Childrens annual prom for sick kids. He met the limousine at another patients home we did not even know yet this patient lived less than 2 miles away. It made me realize that there are so many sick in the world. Yet we live in a veil a shell where we do not see or feel their pain. This shell is in the form of the homes that hide them or our pre-occupation with the things we need to do. I understand why families that lose loved ones usually continue to help others. It is the one of the things that seems to make us feel better. This is why I will continue the blog and write the book that chronicles Jakes journey. Although it does not have the blockbuster movie ending I was hoping for, I will strive to show all the positive moments through all of the pain.